How to Be Happy When You Can't Have Children
1. Be willing to let go of how your life “should” be. ...
Do you associate not having children with feelings of failure, being a “loser”, or feeling less worthy or fulfilled than the mom next door? If you do, you’re normal. Many women feel like they’re unworthy if they don’t have children. They feel less valuable and lovable. So, the first step to finding happiness without kids is express those feelings of pain and loss. Admit that it’s painful to not have children, weep over your loss, grieve the death of your dreams. Not having kids is a painful thing to accept, and it needs to be mourned.
Second, start thinking about how to be open to your life as it is. Instead of hating your body or wrestling with the fact that you can’t have kids, try opening your heart and mind to a life without children. You don’t have to love or be constantly happy about not having kids, but acceptance will help you heal and move on.
2. Change how you think about happiness. ...
Happiness is a feeling that comes and goes. it’s not a permanent condition that you’ll always feel. A permanent feeling of peace and acceptance is the foundation of joy, and it can only come from a relationship with God. Everybody has problems; they just look different. My friend’s 19 year old son was recently killed in a car crash. I have ulcerative colitis; my husband and I are coping with male infertility (azoospermia). One of my writing colleagues recently had a stroke, and can’t think clearly enough to write anymore.
3. Carefully choose how you spend your time. ...
Here’s a practical tip on how to be happy when you can’t have kids: avoid spending time with families, pregnant women, and child-oriented friends! It’s an easy, effective way to protect your mind and guard your heart from feeling despair. Turning down invitations and possibly hurting people’s feelings can feel awkward, selfish and even mean at first…but your mental health and spiritual healing is more important. When you feel better and more stable, you can resume friendships that may have hurt you in the past. Or not.
4. Learn how to live with wisps of sorrow…and say hallelujah anyway. ...
I’ll always feel a wisp of disappointment and sorrow in my heart, but I’ve chosen to pursue a joy-filled, faithful, exciting life! I love God, and am building a closer relationship with Jesus. I’ve accepted the idea that I’ll be childless forever, and I’m deeply happy.
Getting and staying emotionally healthy is a daily choice. Accepting your childfree life and being happy without having children is something you have to choose to do. Being okay with your life doesn’t happen overnight. And, feelings of acceptance don’t last forever. It’s like showering or eating; you have to do it every day. Sometimes three times a day, or three times an hour.
To be happy without having children, remember that happiness is a daily choice.
5. Learn how other women are coping with childlessness.
I’ll always feel a wisp of disappointment and sorrow in my heart, but I’ve chosen to pursue a joy-filled, faithful, exciting life! I love God, and am building a closer relationship with Jesus. I’ve accepted the idea that I’ll be childless forever, and I’m deeply happy.
Getting and staying emotionally healthy is a daily choice. Accepting your childfree life and being happy without having children is something you have to choose to do. Being okay with your life doesn’t happen overnight. And, feelings of acceptance don’t last forever. It’s like showering or eating; you have to do it every day. Sometimes three times a day, or three times an hour.
To be happy without having children, remember that happiness is a daily choice.
How can I be happy childless?
