letter to my husband during pregnancy?

A letter to my husband: 'This is why I’m so emotional'

Pregnant and crying at the drop of a hat? Print out this letter and send it to your man. You're welcome.
Donné Restom
4 min read
July 3, 2017 - 5:42PM
Katherine-Heigl-Knocked-Up
Katherine-Heigl-Knocked-Up
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Pregnant and crying at the drop of a hat? Print out this letter and send it to your man. You're welcome.

Image: Universal Pictures
Dear Partner,

I’m writing you a letter because lately every time I try to tell you how I’m feeling, you jump in before I’ve finished talking. I never get a sense of truly getting across what I want to say because you’re always trying to “fix” me, like make it all better. I know your intentions are good but they’re just not working. So even though you may find a letter a bit extreme, hopefully by the time you’ve finished reading this you’ll have a better understanding of where I’m coming from.

Ever since we looked at that little blue line in the bathroom, things have been really different for me. I don’t feel the same as I used to and I think you’d agree that I don’t look the same either. Although we planned our baby and are both so excited about getting to meet them, the truth is that I’m also feeling pretty nervous about the future. And I need to feel you are with me, every hormonal step of the way.
So just to make it really clear, this is why I’m so emotional:

I feel uncomfortable, look huge and can’t even wear most of my shoes because my feet are so swollen. I have to go to the toilet all the time and I can’t sleep and when I do I dream the strangest things. I can’t eat sushi or brie and you know I just love them.

Most days I feel like I’m on an emotional rollercoaster and constantly on the verge of tears. This makes no sense to me and I’m sure it doesn’t to you either. I’m not a crier and I’ve always thought of crying as a sign of weakness, but lately I just can’t stop my eyes filling up. A kitten, the baby’s nursery, something on the TV – they’re triggers straight to my heart, it’s as if I no longer have any control over my emotions. And I know I’ve been getting angry too and taking it out on you and I’m sorry.

Everything I read about being pregnant is supposed to reassure me that what I’m feeling is normal. But I don’t feel my normal, I don’t feel like I used to feel and I’m not sure that you do either. One minute I’m fine and the next I truly wonder if I’m going mad when I overreact about the smallest things. That incident over the recycling bin for example. I know it needs to be out on a Tuesday night but really? It would have been much easier if you’d just done it yourself but I think you know that now.
Kidspot-Instagram
Kidspot-Instagram
We’re different too.

The us I mean, the you and me who used to have so much fun and not take anything too seriously. Now all we seem to do is talk about the future and our security and saving our money and a whole heap of other things that if I’m totally honest, scare me. For the first time really, it’s like we are becoming grown-ups, mini versions of our own parents and I’m sure how I feel about that one either.

While I’m at it, I really don’t know how to fold the pram down and I’ve been lying to you when I say I can. I know you’ve shown me a million times but I can’t remember what order all those catches have to happen. Oh, and when I think about learning how to breastfeed? well add that to the list of 100 other things keeping me awake at night. I know that the human race has survived for a very long time and really, how hard can it be to look after one small person, but we’ve never done it before. What if we can’t?
Kidspot-Instagram
Kidspot-Instagram
So when I’m crying I’d like you to:

Not say anything. Just listen to me until I’ve stopped talking. Ask me if I have finished if you’re not sure.

Don’t try to be Mr. Fix-it because I’m not broken. Stop saying “Honey, what you need to do is...” and list off half a dozen things which make you feel better but don’t help me.

Just let me know you’re hearing me. That will be a really big thing.

Don’t fuss around me and ask a whole lot of questions. Just sit, listen and be still. You can nod your head though.

Pass me the tissues. And when you go shopping don’t buy the cheap ones. They’re rough and aren’t absorbent enough and too small and I hate them.

Try to understand that it’s not easy for me either. Believe me, I don’t want to be crying all the time.

Hug me and hold me close. Don’t interpret this as foreplay, it’s got nothing to do with sex. Nothing.

Don’t make fun of me to your friends and family. I heard you on the phone last week talking to your sister saying I was crying “again”. Be loyal to me.

Just do stuff around the house and use your own initiative. I’m growing our baby, it’s not easy to make sure all those bits go in the right places.

And one more thing, can you please show me again how to fold down the pram. I promise you I’ll listen and won’t interrupt.